My thoughts on some xmas tunes

Posted by: baliwhat | December 25, 2007

My thoughts on some xmas tunes

I don’t actively seek out Christmas music to listen to, but lately it’s been practically unavoidable, especially at my parents’ houses. Here are some of my observations regarding various seasonal songs.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. I couldn’t help but notice how things between mom and Santa intensify as the song goes on. One verse includes the title line; the next verse begins, “I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus”. Perhaps lost subsequent verses include “I saw mommy groping Santa Claus” and “I saw mommy fellate Santa Claus”.
My Favorite Time of Year. I can’t seem to download this or find lyrics to it, but it has a line that goes something like “It’s Christmastime in town/Champagne all around”. Now that’s my kind of Christmas.
Dominic the Donkey. Also known as “The Italian Christmas Donkey”, as if those 3 words had any relation to each other at all. It’s like someone went, “I’m gonna write a song. Gimme a nationality, holiday, and animal.” The chorus includes such inspired lines as “Chingedy ching (hee haw, hee haw)/It’s Dominic the Donkey”. Actually, that’s half the chorus.
You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch. The sixth verse about how ridiculously terribly horrible the Grinch is begins, “You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch”. By that point in the song, you know who nauseates me? You, mr. singer person! Who, by the way, is not Boris Karloff, as is often thought, but a guy named Thurl Ravenscroft.
My Favorite Things. You know, from Sound of Music, raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, and all that. Sure, I like those things too, but when did this become a Christmas song? I always hear it on those 24-hour-Christmas-music radio stations.
Finally, one I like. Jack Johnson’s version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It’s adorable, because he adds a verse at the end where Rudolph points out that the other reindeers were always assholes to him, so what’s with them being all nice now, you know? Listen to it here.